


The Last Threat

by lizzyleefree



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon), steven universe future - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, One Shot, Steven Universe Future Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-11
Updated: 2019-12-11
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:35:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21753865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lizzyleefree/pseuds/lizzyleefree
Summary: Steven is more afraid of himself than any enemy he's faced before. When his powers grow so out of control that his friends get hurt, he knows there is only one thing left to do.
Relationships: Connie Maheswaran/Steven Universe
Comments: 16
Kudos: 141





	The Last Threat

**Connie**

Connie leaned back in her chair and pressed the heels of her palms into her closed, tired eyes. She’d go cross-eyed if she did any more Calculus that night. She started putting away her pencils in the cup on her desk and her fingers lingered on the glow bracelet that hung from a cluster of pens. The fluid inside had lost its luminescence years ago, but it was a reminder of Steven. She tried to remember the last time they hung out. Had it been a week ago? Or two?

They both were so busy lately, and she missed the simplicity of hanging out as kids before she had so many intensive AP and college prep class, and before he had the leadership of an entire colony of alien refugees. He seemed a little stressed with it all, but who wouldn’t be? He always spoke a little too fast, and even when they were doing something relaxing he seemed manic. She couldn’t remember the last time they’d spent a lazy picnic afternoon watching the clouds and playing music, like they used to do frequently and spontaneously. He’d been through a lot, but if he was really struggling, he knew he could still come talk to her about it. Didn’t he?

She reached for her phone but jumped when it immediately started buzzing with an incoming call before she could message her best friend.

“Pearl?” she muttered looking at the contact name flashing on the screen.

“Hello?” she answered.

“Connie! Hello, this is Pearl, caregiver to your friend, Steven. I hope you’re well tonight?”

“Um, yes m’am,” she said, remembering Steven saying that Pearl hadn’t quite broken away from overly formal etiquette on the phone, “You’ve never called before, and it’s late. Is everything alright?”

“No,” her voice was hushed, and Connie thought she might be crying, “It’s Steven. He’s, well, he’s different lately. I said something that didn’t sit well with him, and he lost control and- Connie he won’t talk to me, or Amethyst, or Garnet.”

“Lost control? Of what?”

“Has Steven ever turned Pink around you? Not when his gem was separated from his body like with White?”

“No. Oh goodness, Pearl what happened?”

The voices of Garnet and Amethyst could be heard, pleading. She couldn’t decipher exactly what they were saying, but Steven’s response was loud and clear.

“GET AWAY FROM ME,” he roared at the gems.

Connie winced and pulled away from the phone.

“St-steven?” she whispered.

Pearl sobbed into the phone, and it took several seconds for her to compose an answer, “Please. If he’ll listen to anyone, it’s you.”

**Steven**

The hybrid being was huddled in the corner of his bathroom, the door locked. His hands were clutched over his ears, which helped muffle the voices on the other side of the door. His pulled down a shaking hand to see its color pulsated between his peach-ish human hue and the pink glow that brought with it terrifying power. The locked door was more of a symbol than an actual barrier. The gems could bust through it with ease if they wanted to, but they hadn’t. He could only assume this was because they were afraid of him. They should be.

**Connie**

Connie streaked up the stairs to the beach house and threw open the door, her eyes sweeping the room, “Steven! Where are you?”

Her breath caught in her throat as she took in the destruction to the house. A 10 foot wide hole gaped in the floor by the kitchen, floor boards sticking up at irregular angles. The relics from past adventures were strewn far away from their empty shelves, and wide cracks crawled up the walls to the ceiling. 

Amethyst sat by the bathroom door with her face in her hands. Garnet stood stoic and unreadable by the couch, probably lost in endless futures that could branch from their current situation. Pearl paced manically in the kitchen, and Connie thought she saw the light projection of her body flicker.

“Pearl?”

“I’m fine!” she blurted, “Just go talk to Steven!”

She flickered again, and Connie’s eyes moved up to her gem. It bore the faintest hairline crack.

“Your gem! It’s-“

“Connie?”

Everyone in the house froze, turning towards Steven’s voice in the bathroom.

Connie rushed to the door and jiggled the knob, “Steven! Open up! Whatever happened, we can handle it together!”

“No!” Steven shouted, “Pearl, why is she here? I don’t want her here!”

Connie backed away from the door, tears blurring her vision. Initially the ache in her chest was raw hurt, but it quickly hardened into anger.

“Well too bad! You don’t want me here?” she wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, “After you said we’d get through this stuff together? I’m holding you to that promise, so if you don’t want me here then I’ll stay anyway!”

She folded her arms and plopped down in front of the door next to Amethyst, who looked up at her with a grateful smile.

“NO!” shouted Steven, with such force that Connie’s whole body flinched and the door behind her rattled.

“I’m not leaving,” said Connie, “You’ll have to come out eventually.”

Steven was silent.

**Steven**

He couldn’t move. He couldn’t speak. He wasn’t even sure he could breathe without going off like a bomb again. Why did Connie have to be so damn stubborn?

Talking wouldn’t do him any good. Talking was what started all this in the first place. He thought back to earlier that day when Pearl sat him down on the couch.

“I wanted to talk about what happened at The Reef. When you turned pink.”

“I’m so sorry, Pearl. I won’t let it happen again.” He couldn’t look at her.

“I’m not looking for another apology, Steven. I’m trying to help you talk about everything you’ve been holding in.”

Steven sighed, gripping his knees, “Why should I talk about it?”

“We’re all worried about you. Amethyst said you’ve been closed off. Garnet can’t even approach you and see a single conversation with her future vision where you’re receptive to her help, either. None of us knew enough about human children, and I think we may have exposed you to things that forced you to grow up too fast. I’m so sorry for that. If you don’t face the things that have happened to you, they can consume you, Steven. You need help.”

“Help with what?” his voice was raising, “I’m fine! For the first time in my life, the gems aren’t at war! No one’s trying to kill me! What right do I have to need help when there’s all these gems new to earth that need it more?”

“Needing help isn’t a competition, Steven. Just because other gems are hurting doesn’t mean you have to put a pause on your own hurt.”

“Ok, so let’s say I’m not fine. What do you want me to do, then? Go to therapy? What human therapist is going to get me venting about the Diamond Authority?”

“Everyone can relate to family problems. Or problems with those who are abusive, or who don’t share your perspective. The longer I spend around humans, the more I realize our problems aren’t so different.”

“ARGH, you don’t get it!” he shouted, standing as his skin flushed a glowing pink.

Pearl was standing then, too. She had instinctively taken her defensive stance- her feet spread wide, and arms poised to materialize her weapon. He’d seen that position many times against dangerous enemies.

“I know you’ve had your own issues,” said Steven, “but you’ve never had the pressure of actually BEING a Diamond! Of having the entire galaxy expecting you to fix everything! Almost every new gem I meet tries to kill me because of this rock that’s in my guts! I don’t even want it! I wish I could just take it out like White did!” 

Pearl’s eyes grew wide and her arms fell to her sides. She was several shades whiter than before, “White did what?”

“I-I mean…” he trailed off, remembering he’d never told the Crystal Gems what happened when they were under White’s control up in her ship.

“Steven, answer me,” Pearl’s voice was soft, but shaking and uneven.

“She took my gem out,” he said, “when you all were under her control.”

Pearl took a deep breath, “And what happened?”

Steven explained the bare facts of that memory, but there were many things he left out. He didn’t describe what it felt like to feel his body shutting down. To feel like every breath was a marathon. He did not describe the searing pain of the connective tissue in his stomach that had been ripped apart when the gem was torn out. He did not describe the terror of seeing the raw power his gem half possessed when not constantly under the control of his inhibitions.

And he certainly did not describe the nightmares that plagued him for months afterwards, and how he still flinched if anyone touched his gem.

When he was done with all he was willing to share, Pearl came closer to take his hand in hers, “I can’t believe she did that to you. And then you still worked alongside her for two years to bring peace to the galaxy. I don’t know how you’re so strong, Steven. No gem I know could do that.”

“I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to turn against her when I saw she was willing to change. I just wanted to move on.”

Pearl sighed, “I want to hate her for doing that to you, but I can’t pretend I’m much better.”

Steven stiffened, “What do you mean?”

“Do you remember us all telling you about when you were a baby a few years ago? About how I thought Rose was trapped inside you?”

“Yeah. You were tempted to pull my gem out,” he shuddered, the story taking a darker edge than when he first heard it.

“The truth is,” said Pearl, “that wasn’t the only time I thought about it. I had daydreams of taking it out and having Rose back every day for months. The only thing that stopped me was having no idea what would happen to you if I did that. Every time I would try you would laugh or smile or babble at me. And eventually I knew I would never risk hurting you, even to get Rose back. White was just trying to get her back, too.”

“Every time you would try?” Steven repeated.

“What? Oh, I realize that sounds bad. I didn’t really try to do it. To take it out. I just, um, thought about it.”

Steven’s heart hammered against his rib cage, and his gem grew hot. His vision blurred and swam like he was underwater, and he could see his clenched fists glowing pink.

“Steven! It’s happening again!” Pearl stood and backed away, just like she had at The Reef, “I-I’m sorry! It was wrong for me to even think about doing it! But you understand, right? How much I wanted her back? I didn’t know you yet. Didn’t understand you!”

“Shut up, Pearl!” he stomped his foot, and split the floorboard beneath him. He took several shaky, slow breaths to regain himself and said, “I thought you three were different. Even you wanted to kill me, though. Even you. Because of my mom.”

“Kill you?” Pearl’s eyes misted with tears, “Steven, I would never! Please just…”

"You still wish I was her, don't you?"

"Steven, no..."

No longer sure what to say to reassure him of her love, she outstretched her willowy arms to embrace him.

Steven saw those same arms in his mind tracing his gem while he slept at night and wishing he was Rose. Saw her spider fingers tugging at it. He felt a surge of rage and fear pouring out of him as gem power, and Pearl was too close.

“GET AWAY!” boomed Steven’s voice as a massive wave of force exploded from him.

Steven’s memory was not wholly reliable after that. He remembered scanning the destruction around him, and taking a minute to remember that it was from him. At some point he found Pearl limp on the floor. He saw her roll over and reveal her cracked gem. He was screaming something, but he could not remember what. He was kissing her gem, but it wasn’t working. He needed emotional clarity for it to work, and his own terror flooded every other emotion he possessed.

He stared at Pearl on the floor, and all he could see was Volley. Another Pearl damaged by his gem. By him.

When Garnet and Amethyst arrived, he locked himself in the bathroom, not wanting to hurt them, too.

He had no idea how long he had been in that same corner, paralyzed in his own spiraling thoughts.

_I’m not my mom, but I’m just like her. I hurt people._

Endless talking on the other side of the door. Erratic pink light pulsing under his flesh. His gem so hot it might burn a hole in his clothes.

_The only thing I knew how to do was help people, and now I’m no good at it anymore. Amethyst is better at it than me. She listens to them, and I just tell them to do what I think is best. Like a dictator. Like a Diamond._

He heard Connie’s voice, and a pounding on the door.

_I can’t be broken like this. I’m worthless like this. The best thing I can do for the people I love is to disappear before I hurt them._

Garnet’s gauntlet punched through the door, and when Steven looked up Connie was standing before him.

She was too soft. Too human. One wrong move and she could end up like Lars. Or she could end up dead.

**Connie**

“No, no, no, no!” Steven moaned, refusing to look at her, “Stay back! I can’t control it!”

His hands were tangled in his curls, his body a crumpled pile on the floor, and his face contorted in an effort to control the power pulsing inside him.

“It’s ok,” she moved slowly, as if she was approaching a feral animal, “I know you’ve been overwhelmed, but you need to face what you’re afraid of. We learned this together, remember?”

He put his head between his knees, sobbing “No, no, no, no.”

“Here comes a thought,” she sang barely above a whisper, “that might alarm you.”

She came closer, but the moment her hands touched his shoulders he shouted “NO, GET AWAY!”

His bubble went up and the ground beneath him cracked again from the impact of his voice. Connie was sent sailing backwards. The back of her head collided with the bathroom sink, and the stars on Steven’s shower curtain swam in a haze until they were overtaken with blackness.

**Steven**

The shock of seeing what he did to Connie dragged Steven back into his surroundings. The gems huddled over his friend, trying to wake her up. Pearl flickered, and her speech was disjointed due to her worsening crack.

Steven had to heal her, but he was frozen in place. Would they even let him get close to her?

Garnet splashed water on Connie’s face, causing the girl to moan softly.

“She’s alive,” Steven whispered.

The three gems looked up at him. He could see the fear in their eyes, but he knew they would deny it if he pointed it out.

“Let me heal her. Please?”

Amethyst and Pearl looked up to Garnet, who only stared at Steven a moment before nodding.

Steven knelt down by Connie, limp in Garnet’s arms. He slid one hand under her narrow shoulders, and the other cradled her head under her soft hair. For a second, he glanced at her parted lips, and realized he would never get to kiss them. This would be the last time he saw her.

He placed his mouth instead on her forehead and felt the familiar sensation of power drawing out of him. Connie fluttered her eyes open and stared up at him.

“Hi,” she whispered, "You're you again."

Steven said nothing, but helped her sit up before turning to Pearl.

Never looking up, he licked his hand, and placed it on her gem.

In another glimmer of his healing power, Pearl’s gem sealed and forgot about the damage he’d caused.

Steven could not forget, though.

“Thank you, Steven,” she said, "Now let's-"

“Don’t thank me for cleaning up my own mess,” said Steven in a low, shaking voice. He walked out of the bathroom, “You don’t have to worry about repairing the house, though. That mess can stay. As a reminder that this is for the best.”

“Steven, you can’t!” said Garnet. Tears began to stream out from under her visor from the future she just saw.

“He can’t what?” said Amethyst.

“Leave,” said Steven, grabbing the keys to the Dondai Supremo.

He walked out the door, ignoring their shouts and pleas. Ignoring even Connie screaming that she loved him.

He slid into the car and shut the sturdy metal door behind him. He turned the key, and the roar of the engine calmed his nerves and dried his tears. He drove until Beach City disappeared in his rear-view mirror. He drove until the ocean disappeared, too. He drove until people disappeared. The last alien threat he would ever remove from his hometown was himself.

**Author's Note:**

> With the title cards and the outro to every episode so far in SUF being Steven's car leaving Beach City, it seems obvious that he will leave at some point. What we don't know is the reason he will do it. I came up with all sorts of scenarios in my head, but this was by far the most angsty, so I decided to write it. I hope the canon turns out to be something much happier, like Steven traveling to college with Connie or going on a fun road trip to clear his head.
> 
> This fic is current through the episode "Volleyball," after the first SU Future Bomb.


End file.
